


Day 9 - Memories

by rainofgrenades



Series: Sheith Month 2017 [9]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Broken Shiro, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Love, M/M, Memories, Nightmares, Sheith Month 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:38:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainofgrenades/pseuds/rainofgrenades
Summary: Keith knew he was trying to kill him, contracted flesh fingers preventing oxygen to get to his lungs, but he also knew that Shiro wasn’t awake.The tears streaming down his cheeks, coming from his staring, unblinking eyes, were the proof of that: Shiro never looked at him so directly while crying.





	Day 9 - Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Skipped a day but will post it soon! Here, have some angst.  
> Fanarts for my #SheithMonth fics by: space-mull3t.tumblr.com

**C** urled up next to Shiro, Keith opened his eyes to the darkness of his – their, by now – room.  
Something woke him, but he couldn’t figure out what: everything was silent, not an alarm or a sound, except for Shiro’s breath…  
  
Shiro’s breath.  
  
It was weird, it wasn’t the regular, sleepy rhythm he usually followed; it was broken, almost reaching apnoea or too long gasps, his chest pumping heavy beside Keith.  
  
Keith lifted himself up, brows already furrowed in concern, and gently caressed his boyfriend temple.  
“Shiro? Shiro, it’s ok…”  
  
The sweat on his skin wasn’t a good sign, and neither was the way his head jolted to the side, almost crushing Keith’s fingers on the pillow.  
Something was off, something bad, something Keith wasn’t sure he wanted to see.  
  
The pained moan escaping Shiro’s lips froze him in place. Shiro was suffering, Keith could see his gaze following nightmares under his shut eyelids, and he could do nothing. Waking him could worsen everything, but seeing him like that was pure agony.  
  
“Shiro, please, wake up…” he whispered, fingers slowly tracing his lover’s arm, in a delicate attempt to bring him back to reality. What if he woke up screaming, like it already happened? Keith knew what to do to try to calm him down, it was instinctive, but still the thought scared him to the bones: his strong, gentle Shiro crushed by fears and nightmares he couldn’t take away was something he still difficultly managed to see.  
  
Words slipped through pants, and Keith couldn’t hear them clearly, but the worst part came after that: the Black Paladin suddenly opened his eyes and stared right at him, silent. The grey irises were weird, were tired and far from conscious, but most of all were frightened.  
  
The unexpected touch caused by Shiro’s palm on his cheek startled Keith, but he remained still, unable to free himself from that glare.  
  
“…-lled…Keith, I-…sorry, I have to-…” Shiro’s hand lowered, lightly caressing his skin until it reached his neck.  
There, his fingers closed hard.  
  
Keith knew he was trying to kill him, contracted flesh fingers preventing oxygen to get to his lungs, but he also knew that Shiro wasn’t awake.  
The tears streaming down his cheeks, coming from his staring, unblinking eyes, were the proof of that: Shiro never looked at him so directly while crying.  
  
His hands run to Shiro’s arm on their own, not rushed by panic but guided by experience and an unnatural self-control Keith wasn’t aware to be capable of; he caressed the tensed muscles, breathing as little as he could, placing his own fingers on the other’s. Trying to call Shiro’s name was useless, but he tried anyway, nothing but a choked sound leaving his mouth.  
  
Something broke. Not at the sound of his voice, only in Shiro’s mind: his hand opened, eyes focusing on it between blinks, and then he raised his mech hand and stared at it too.  
  
Keith breathed in deeply, imposing to himself to not cover his throat or to look hurt. It would only make Shiro feel bad.  
  
“I-…Keith?” tears were still falling from Shiro’s lashes, but he seemed unaware, so focused on staring at his hands and then at the Red Paladin.  
  
He didn’t talk again, so Keith took a deep breath and kind of answered his question.  
“I’m here. It was a nightmare, but it’s ok. Are you okay?”  
  
Shiro clearly wasn’t.  
“I…I killed you. They…they made me do it. You were screaming and crying and asking mercy, but I didn’t listen, I couldn’t listen…”  
  
Keith moved closer to him, gently wiping the white, wet hair off his forehead “No, you didn’t. I’m alive, Shiro. See?” he showed him a little smile too, bending in order to kiss his boyfriend’s temple.  
Shiro liked innocent touches like that, they always helped in calming him down after bad nights.  
  
Except this time he moved away from Keith’s lips, the gray, scared eyes still staring at him.  
“No, I did it. I _remember_ it” the terrified sigh that shook his whole body only attracted Keith onto him, hugging him close until his arms hurt “It wasn’t a nightmare.”  
  
Keith was ready to repeat himself forever “Yes, it wa-”  
  
“It was a _memory_ , Keith” the sad, resigned sentence hit the boy like a kick to the stomach, but he refused to let go, and eventually Shiro’s shaky hands embraced him back, a silent, desperate cry finally completely freeing itself from the survivor.  
  
They made Shiro kill him.  
  
And that horrible, wicked and perverted fact got added to the stack of the other equally horrible, wicked and perverted facts that Shiro was slowly remembering of his captive time with the Galra. Each memory made him cry, each memory ruined the wall Shiro’s brain created to contain the damage, and left him more fragile than the previous one.  
  
Keith could feel the other man’s need to run and hide, to prevent himself to _hurt_ anyone anymore.  
  
He simply hugged him harder, stroking his short hair and whispering soothing words, forcing his own tears back until Shiro stopped sobbing and relaxed under his touch.  
  
Shiro was going to be okay again, he was going to fell asleep and, sadly, he was going to think about it in the morning.  
  
But he wasn’t alone in that, he never had been since they found each other again.  
  
Keith would have fought alone an entire fleet only to wipe away those painful memories from the man he loved, but the only thing he could do was shivering, holding to Shiro like he was going to break apart.


End file.
